Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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