my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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