btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
