I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
