I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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