it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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