I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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