Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
