If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
