Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
