should my penis look like a turkey
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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