but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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