just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
