What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
