I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize