She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
