Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
