sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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