What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
