East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
