I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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