I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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