ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
