she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
