I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
When are your genitals available?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
