i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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