We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
