Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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