sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize