I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
