I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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