So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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