something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
