Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize