Sry I called you an 8
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
