Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Randomize
