it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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