why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
