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I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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