Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
