Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i wish my penis had a tongue
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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