halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Randomize
