Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
