a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
