You can't motorboat a personality
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
