I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
