i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
