Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
