ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize