i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
