Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How does one acquire holy water?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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