is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I pour the whiskey from now on
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
