THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
