somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think my vagina is haunted
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
