New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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