carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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