Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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