You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
