I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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