you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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