the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Holy sore nipples Batman
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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